Yesterday I went to see the movie Embrace with my supportive boyfriend. I was delighted to see how well the documentary was put together by director Taryn Brumfitt, founder of Body Image Movement.
This documentary shows the reality about a huge percent of women in the world hate their bodies. Taryn traveled the world interviewing women who have gone through major challenges like body shaming, bulimia, disease, body disfiguration, etc. These women have learned to love their bodies and overcome the public pressure of meeting the beauty standards that the media and beauty industry has set for women.
Unless we have been leaving in a desert island isolated from the world, none of us has been immune to all the exposure about beauty standards. We all have developed body image issues and we all suffer our own struggle with accepting ourselves, loving our bodies and carrying on with life.
We feel helpless and frustrated, we suffocate in our own anguish and suffer silently. Thinking that nobody understand us. Let me tell you, you are not alone. Just talk to the next woman you encounter in your day and you will find out she suffers the same than you.
As a boudoir photographer, I get women to answer a questionnaire before I talk to them on the phone. Most of them, at least 9 in 10, will tell me how they feel about their bodies and self-esteem. They have different degrees of suffering, some are really hurting after an abusive marriage, some have the most common insecurity of not feeling pretty enough and good enough for their husbands, especially after babies.
With all of them, I try to help them turn things around before they decide to do a boudoir session with me. Because the last thing I want is for them to see their images and start picking at all their “flaws”. I want them to have an empowering experience and come to the studio ready to embrace their bodies. It is very fulfilling to see them looking at their images and realize that it was not as bad as their thought. The bad perception of them was all in their heads! They walk out of the studio feeling good about themselves and wanting to do it again in the future.
They wouldn’t have this extent of transformation if I didn’t take the time to talk to each one of them and tell them my own story. I also tell them a very different story about their bodies and now, I want to tell you.
You are not your body.
You are a spiritual being having a human experience. You are a visitor to this human life and you were given a vehicle to get here, get around and experience the human life. This vehicle allows you to experience the good, the bad, the beautiful and the ugly of this world. The pleasures of this world like food, love, smelling a flower, feeling the wind on your skin, seeing a beautiful sunset, giving birth to a new life, walking, singing as well as hearing beautiful sounds. We also experience the not so good like suffering the loss of a loved one, pain when we break a bone, a rash when we get stung by a bee, and the blessing of being able to cry.
All these are what makes the human experience, and you are here to enjoy every single one of them. Your body is in charge of allowing you to have this experience so you have to use it. Like everything, when you use something, there is wear and tear and with time it won’t look new anymore. It is up to us to do maintenance to keep it in the best shape possible so it lasts us a long time. Just like a car, if you knew you can only have one car from the moment you get your first driver’s licence until the day you die, you would have to do all the maintenance, treat it with care so it can last you all your life.
If you don’t want the car to get old, you keep it in the garage and never drive it. But then you would miss all the benefits and the point of having a car: going to work, protecting yourself from the rain, making out with you boyfriend in the car, taking a road trip, taking your kids to soccer practice, getting fast to the hospital in an emergency.
At the end of your car’s life, it will look old but you will be very thankful for the service it provided you all those years. It is the same with your body, if you don’t want it to get fat, get cellulite, stretchmarks, skin spots, wrinkles and lose muscle mass, then you would have to keep it in the garage. You cannot enjoy food, be in the sun, drink a glass of wine, make love and have babies, do sports that stress your joints, watch any tv that stresses your eyes, listen to a concert that is too loud, do something extreme for the fear of hurting your body. You can’t also engage in any relationship, get a job, and interact with people because you would put stress in your body, cry, be angry and feel frustrated, and that would also cause your body to age.
The point I want to make is that your body is the evidence that you are alive in this world. If we were only spirits in this earth, with not material bodies, we would feel each others presence but we could not have separation and individuality, we would just be a blob of entities, like ghosts.
In order to shift your thoughts about your body and flip the “Magic” button that suddenly makes you feel different and happy, you have to ask the RIGHT QUESTION:
Does It Really Matter How I Look As Long As I Love The Way I Feel?
Think about this for a second. Your negative feelings about your body are just thoughts. These thoughts are NOT YOU. It is just an amount of energy that resides in your brain and creates a feeling for you.
Who Would You Be Without These Thoughts?
If your negative thoughts about your body didn’t exist, how would you feel?
In the old days, sailors were convinced that if they sailed beyond the horizon, they would fall out of the earth into the abyss. They were so afraid of this thought that for centuries they kept themselves close to the coast and lived literally trapped in a small area of the world. But one day, one person dared to go further and further and realized that there was no limit in the horizon. Then the entire humanity changed this collective thought about Earth having a limit and they expanded their beliefs, lost their fear and got curious about how far they could go.
How far can you go if you remove the limiting beliefs about you? Who would you be if you eliminate certain thoughts? What would you dare to do? What new thoughts about you would you have?
Do you think this is BS? Women around the world are actively changing their thoughts just like that. They decide to THINK different and this leads to FEEL different. Can you handle it?
Can you handle feeling good about you regardless of your physical body looks? Does it really matter what your body looks IF YOU FEEL GOOD ABOUT YOU?
I invite you to watch the movie Embrace. This movie is a great help to assist you in flipping that switch that is holding you back. When you flip that switch, is like turning all the pain off. You will perceive life differently, will focus on the things that really matter: your family, your health, your happiness, your relationships, love, you will finally start enjoying food, make love with the lights on, wear the bikini you always wanted to wear, work on self-improvement. You will become the inspiration to many. You will become the best mother your kids deserve, the best wife to your husband, the best woman for you.
The world is waiting for you, what are you waiting for? There is not tomorrow, there is only NOW.