Today is February 15th, one day after Valentine’s day. About three days ago I decided to have an amazing Valentine’s day, the best I ever had.
As the day was approaching, I was hoping a guy that I kind of like would ask me out on Valentine’s day. I made sure to keep my schedule open so when he called, I would be available. It was stressing me out because the days were passing and I had not heard from him (and I’m not the kind of girl who chases men). I finally snapped out of it and told myself: You idiot, why do you make someone else be in charge of your day! So, instead of keeping my hopes up and my day available for anyone to take me out, I planned my day. And if at the last minute anyone asked me out (which it happened 🙂 ) I could say, “Sorry, I already have plans”.
I have always wanted to be treated to a very thoughtful date that included a stay at a nice hotel, reservation for a romantic dinner followed by a night out listening to music, good conversation and delicious wine. That has never happened but I assume that to be my own fault for placing my romantic life in the hands of clueless men!
The hardest part of doing something like this is the fear to feel stupid and what people might think when they see me sitting alone having dinner or drinks. We care so much about what people think and the reality, is that people don’t give us five seconds of their time to be sorry for us, they are doing their own thing! And if they do, well, I am sorry for them!
Fear is the number one obstacle we ourselves place in front of all our dreams, hopes, goals and desires; it is human nature. We are conditioned to fit a certain behavior, certain norms and rules and if we get outside of them, we are criticized, pointed at and talked about. So what!
I have decided to do all the things that fear has stopped me from doing and yesterday was one of them. It was scary but at the same time very exciting and at the end of the night, I felt like it is a normal thing to do like going to a coffee shop by myself to work on my computer.
I arrived at the hotel at 4:30 p.m. and valet parked my car. I really enjoy the decor of W hotels, it is so chic and modern. At my check in I was treated to champagne and I was informed about the night activities at the hotel. They even told me the best time to come down. I thought, perfect! I will have a nice dinner, then go back to my room, shower and dress up for drinks at the Living room at 10 p.m.
Part of my fantasy of the perfect date is to be surprised with a small thoughtful gift. I really don’t care much for gifts, but this is just part of my fantasy, a man giving me an unexpected small detail. So what did I do? I shopped for myself for Valentne’s day few weeks ago. I always wanted to have a piece of Tiffany’s jewelry. I placed my gift inside the cute Tiffany bag and placed it on my night stand next to a scented candle I brought from the studio. I wanted my room to smell really nice when I returned from my night out later.
Dinner was exquisite. Something I love about Austin is the food, I have not had a bad dinning experience so far.
I took my time with my four course meal while writing updates in my Facebook Business page. I was really enjoying observing my surroundings, the people and everything that was happening around me. Something we normally don’t do because we are with someone and our attention is focused on them. I found this very fascinating.
The place was packed by 7:00 p.m. and I was the only one having dinner on my own. I could tell nobody was paying attention to me or started whispering among themselves while looking in my direction. Really, people don’t care! My glass of wine definitely helped me relax and take everything in and really enjoy my dinner. I was happy to just be there and not to have to keep a conversation with anyone. I barely even talked to the waiter, I just didn’t want to be bothered!
After dinner (three and a half hours total!) I went back to my room and turned the TV on. Not surprising, there was nothing worth my attention. I follow author Steve Maraboli (www.stevemaraboli.com), I love his quotes and I sometimes use them for my own #EmpoweringQuotesForWomen. I went to his radio station in my computer and I randomly selected one of his talks and kept listening as background while I started to get ready to continue my night out.
As part of my sexy night out, of course I had to be prepared to feel sexy from head to toe! When I was in Chicago last week, I went to G Boutique (www.boutiqueg.com) and got myself a new set of sexy lingerie. Sheri, the owner, personally helped find a bra that fit me perfectly. I loved it, it is all see-through with great support. It feels like I am wearing nothing and my boobs felt naturally perky 🙂 !
I have a very cute garter from Victoria’s Secret that combined perfectly with the lingerie. I also brought my sexy set of red lingerie to wear the next day when I check out, feeling sexy till the last moment!
Instead of bringing my pj’s that I normally wear to bed, I brought my silk teddy that I bought in Ireland last December. It was so funny how the colors blue and Ivory combined perfectly with the colors of the room, I was matching my room!
I got dressed with all my lingerie including stockings and my new pair of sexy Coach stilettos. Today was the day to take them out. I have so many fabulous shoes that I hardly wear because I don’t go out that much and in Chicago, it’s freezing to even think of wearing anything other than boots! So tonight was the night for my shoes to come out and show my legs off!
I’m so glad I have so much practice hooking garters, because like most of you I NEVER wear garters and stockings except for a boudoir session. I have to say, when you get the right stockings and right length of garter, you are sooooo comfortable!
NOTE TO SELF: Hook the garter UNDER the panties so you can pull them down when going to the bathroom!
I finally got ready and I was very pleased with what I saw in the mirror. I have to say, I never felt this sexy and beautiful in my life. I always felt that I was not fashionable and trendy enough. And I’m not, but this night, I felt I was rocking my dress and my shoes!
As I was close to ready, I started shaking and feeling nauseated, the reality sunk in, I was going to be at a bar, full of couples and groups of friends and I was going to be standing there alone, I was freaked out!
However, I love a good challenge. I always tell myself: what is the worst possible outcome of this? That people start staring and talking about me and I feel judged and as an outcast 🙁
Now, what is the best possible scenario? That I feel like Kim Kardashian and as enter the room everybody starts to greet me and want to hang out with me 🙂
The reality is, it will be something in between and that’s exactly what happened!
As arrived at the lobby around 10:00 p.m. I could tell the lounge was buzzing with beautiful, good looking people. I put my head up, made eye contact with the security guy who smiled at me while giving me an indication to go in, I smiled back at him. This pulled me together, it was like a guardian angel telling me, you look fabulous, you belong in this place, so now go have a good time!
As I walked the different rooms, I could see that no one paid any attention to me, it was kind of crowded but not to the point that you can’t walk. I slowed down and started to admire the decor, the people and listened to the musing the DJ was playing. The entire atmosphere was so lively and suddenly I felt so at ease and with a sense of belonging. I felt great in my new shoes and I walked towards the bar with no idea what I would like to drink. I saw someone with a drink menu so I looked over the bar for a second menu and I found it at the end of the bar blocked by a guy having a martini. I asked for permission to reach out and as I started to read the different drinks, the guy next to me asked me what I was going to drink.
As I lifted my head to make eye contact I saw a good looking and tall Middle Easter man staring at me. I suddenly had this feeling of relief to be able to talk to someone and I didn’t even had to start the conversation! To make story short, I spent the rest of the evening talking to this handsome fellow who happened to be single and looking 🙂 !
What a great night I thought, it was not even five minutes that I had arrived and I was having a great time conversing with a cute and educated man! He bought me a second glass of wine (I decided to stick to wine, hard liquor is not the best for me if I want to stay awake) and we spent the night talking and flirting back and forth. He asked for my number and texted me the next morning to say hi. What else can I ask for?!
I returned to my room at around 1:00 a.m. to find a room full of jasmine scent from the candle I brought. I washed my face, put on my silk teddy, stoke some poses in front of the mirror (I was feeling sexy and beautiful!) and then jumped into bed and watched a little TV before finally falling asleep feeling super happy.
In conclusion, my Valentine’s day was the BEST I ever had because I took charge to make sure it was perfect. It definitely allowed me to overcome my fear of being alone in a social setting and enjoy my own company.
Bottom line, what matters is to feel good about everything we do and not care so much about being judged. Because in reality, people for the most part is too busy to pay any attention to us, especially if they don’t know us!
I invite you to find the things that you are afraid to do and make it your purpose to overcome those fears by doing them anyway. You will see how good it feels to have the guts to be so daring, you will be so proud of yourself. You will gain confidence and will be an inspiration for others to follow.
You deserve to have everything you want in this world. Don’t let fear stop your from getting what you want.
I wish every day to be a Valentine’s day in you life, full of love from others and from yourself.
With all my heart,