After part 2 of this discussion of seduction, I decided that my next shoot with Argentina (probably in November for my 30th birthday) is going to be very Shakira-inspired. Isn’t that black bodysuit awesome? I’m going to DIY some She-Wolf outfits for the shoot. Provided I can tone up in time, I’d love to share the results of the shoot with you all. The fun part will be seeing if I can find some kind of cage bar prop — #onlysortofkidding. (Stay tuned!) This kind of shoot, for me, will be very symbolic of walking my talk — all this discussion of unleashing your Erotic Creature has definitely gotten me thinking about how I’d like to start my next decade.
On a slightly different, but related note, today’s video comes from TED once again. This time it isn’t Sheila Kelley (who tweeted our previous article!), but rather, a rumba dancer (and seduction specialist) named Chen Lizra. Seriously, give it a watch, because it’s a fun and thought-provoking 10-ish minutes.
I was never really one, growing up, to spend all my time flat-ironing my hair and curling eyelashes next to girlfriends. I didn’t like gossip or drama, and as a result, I spent most of my teenage and young adult life hanging out with guys. The divine joke in all this is that I’ve apparently come full circle: Now, I work at a boudoir studio and I have my own jewelry business, so today, it’s like Estrogen Fest everywhere I go. 😉
One of the most common complaints I’ve had and have always heard from other girls like me is the difficulty in peacefully interacting with our friends’ girlfriends — these women always felt threatened by our very existence, as though our sole purpose of being friends with their men was to steal them.
Fundamentally, I think this is instinct. As women, our biological aim is to bear children — which is a long-term investment. We don’t want some other girl walking around and seducing the fathers of our babies. (I’m talking figuratively here, not literally, so I hope not to ruffle too many feathers.) It comes down to protecting the well being of our children, and it is the result of evolution.
Some days, it’s an adjustment, but ultimately, I love that I’m surrounded by ladies a lot of the time. I have tremendous respect for women, especially when they are unafraid to be exactly who they are. And when we get together, it’s not about sex. Instead, it is safe, and it’s so supercharged you can practically hear us buzzing when we get together!
It’s about us, and celebrating sisterhood. Haven’t you ever engaged in a marathon of several hours just chatting with a new girlfriend you just made? Or admired a fellow femme fatale from afar?
Here’s where things get a little crazy: When you make a supercharged connection like that, you’re engaging in seduction.
So that’s what this is about. Seduction at its core is not a product of sex. It is a quality — a power — a charisma. It is an invitation to connect at a deeper level (whether physical or emotional) and a way to live your life with confidence and ease. What Chen Lizra illustrates so colorfully in her talk, seduction is about play — a conversation that happens for the most part without words. (Sound familiar?) It’s a quality we women have, which fuels our power to get what we want (whether it is sexual in nature or not).
As she mentions, nowadays, seduction has become so oversexualized that it is now a taboo subject in everyday society. (This is why I hesitate to say “Art of Seduction” to just anyone. It scares some people off.) But this is perhaps the very reason we owe it to ourselves to open up the dialogue, and not allow societal expectations to cut out that which we are entitled to by birthright: our sacred feminine, the Erotic Creature. This, in softer language, is the feminine spark.
The common thread that Sheila Kelley, Shakira, and Chen Lizra share? Embracing the freedom of movement to celebrate the gift of the feminine body. We have curves, we have softness, we have life inside of us. When we figure out beautiful ways to stop shrinking inward, but instead, bloom, we discover our path to fully living our lives as they were intended.